The Rainforest

6.10.00. We leave for senior week today. Many adventures to be had.

Last night I watched this show on women kept as sex slaves. It mortified me. What is wrong with the world?

"Isn't it weird that we have nothing in common with our friends?" -Jen

Jill and Trent had this HUGE fight tonight. I've never seen her so upset.

"Don't say Sionara. I wanna see you tomorrow" -Descendents

Ya know what I've come up with: love is born from self hatred. That's why we need it. If we all loved ourselves, we'd get along just fine but instead we look for other people to love us because they'll fall in love with the qualities we dislike about ourselves. And break ups are so hard because the other person can walk away from all those things, but we'll be stuck hating ourselves forever.

I have been ever so indecisive lately. I think I shouldn't write names or relate anything too real because of the confrontation if anyone ever read it. I am going to see a shrink again soon. My emotions have gotten the better of me. My parents are gone. To Virginia. I wish I had gone along. An escape from this place is what I need. It is an especially hard effort to breathe.

"Tying yourself to me, stitch up my emptiness, cuz you're the death of me" -Orgy

Ah music is my savior. My feelings, are they real? I don't know how to reach inside of people. We're all so different. I can't help but sympathize with all of them. They're human, so am I. I want to make a connection.

Gotta find a method, a philosphy, a motto, something to live by and that gives me strength.

I need a kitty. Love. Unconditional. Reguardless.

I always wanted to be a writer but I can't think of anything to write.





See.