Goodbyes

1.17.03. Last night was wonderful. Sean took me to Cosi because that's where we had our first date. And there was hardly anyone there because it was snowing. Just like I always envisioned, being 'cosey' at Cosi in the snow! I told Sean how much I would miss him and he said that I'm not like most girls. "What do you mean?" "You're not a typical girl, you're different. You are much cooler. You're very special." Aw. This made me feel wonderful. Then he said he would miss me too and that he has a new theory. The '3 month rule'. Don't go out with a girl for any longer or else he'll get attached. And he doesn't want to do that because his plan is to move to California and if he fell in love then he'd probably stay. I tried to tell him to 'feel' anyway and love for the experience is to be had along the way. He giggled at my advice but I think he enjoyed my attempt to convert his viewpoints.

"If I could keep a star for everytime you made me smile, the entire sky would be mine"

Later we watched Tomcats which was really funny. The movie said something about 'love' being when you care more about someone then you care about yourself. I don't know about that. After that he started telling me about how he doesn't have any hobbies. He was like 'You like to read and write, snowboard, ice skate, you like music....I'm just not that interested in anything'. I reminded him of his love for sports but he said that's more of a spectator thing. He sounded kind of down on himself. I felt bad. He was like 'You are so lucky, you're going to Florida". I feel bad, I'm realizing a lot of people might be jealous of this opportunity. I feel pressured to like it. Did I mention that Sean said dating me has been an education? A positive one though, he said. Lol. I'm so glad he came into my life because he left me with an open mind. He liked me for me. Made me less concerned with thinking there's something wrong with me. He saw me in the way I want to be seen. I think we kind of brought out the best in each other and that's pretty special.

"Seeing me, meeting me and knowing me are three different things" -Z. Hanson