Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

By William Ernest Henley

Love this poem and the movie. So inspiring!!

Who Am I?

Who Am I?

I am the words that pour from my lips, lighting my way into tomorrow.

I am a shadow of my former self with softer edges, defined by the light of my understanding.

With divided loyalties I am committed to the two until they merge into one.

I am the higher self reflected back in a moment of intimacy and genuine relationship.

I am the question that remains on the fringe of recollection.

I am the intuition that rises in a moment of stillness. I am the stillness.

I am the crest of a wave, carried forward, serving its purpose then relenting.

I am the current that gently supports a falling leaf, moving it into its next cycle.

I am the fragrance of jasmine, blooming a welcome to the onset of night.

I am the gurgle in a new baby's giggle, a song of wonderment and mirth.

I am the smell of wet soil, promising fertility and completion.

I am the whisper heard in a chattering brook, of stories yet untold.

I am the warmth of the sun on your face on a long autumn day, telling of seasons to come.

I am the crackling of a fire as it baptizes a length of hickory.

I am the spark of recognition in the face of a friend, warming the corners of your heart.

I am you.

With remembrance and expansion dawns the space to carry all.

-Author Unknown

Poems

I've been meaning to blog but too much is going on right now. Here are three of my alltime favorite poems in the meantime. Much love,

Robin




Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

By Robert Frost

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

by Maya Angelou


Imagine A Woman In Love With Herself

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experiences and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her pain.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own Gods.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body's rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her precious life energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

By: Patricia Lynn Riley

Poems

Wishful Thinking

If I could draw, I would draw myself on a deserted island
Lying in a hammock with my love and coconut palms
Singing us lullaby's

If I could dream an endless dream
I'd dream myself to Tahitti
I'd ride a dolphin through the waves and warm myself in the sun

If I could wish just one wish that was guarenteed to come true
I'd wish my mother back to health and then she'd never be blue

If I could freeze a place in time
I'd return to my childhood days
Remember what it was like to pretend, imagine and believe
And play

If I could go back to a time when I was innocent
I would not have kissed so many boys
But only the ones who were worthy

But who am I to live in regret
For the things that cannot be

Like a little bird afraid to fly
Or a cat running up a tree

I must move forward, I must stand tall
Reaching out for the moment and loving it all

written 2.26.05


Work

A job, a building, a place I go
To make money, make ends meet, this much I know

But how it makes me tired and ill
My hopes and dreams it will never fulfill

I feel each wasted hour passing me by
Office politics and bullshit, I breath out a heavy sigh

To think it costs money just to simply exist
Doesn't make much sense to me, I want to raise a fist

written 10.11.05


What I Learned in College

I learned that naps aren't only for pre-schoolers

I learned how to make a pot of coffee

I learned what it means to leave home

I learned how it feels to be broke

I learned how to bullshit my way through classes that didn't interest me

I learned that 'roommate' does not automatically mean 'best friend'

I learned what it is to have my heart broken

And I learned what it means to find true love

I learned that good friendships last across the miles

And that it gets harder to make good friends as you get older

I learned that I can study for hours on end and still do badly on a test

I learned that I can plow through and perserve long after I think possible

I learned that parking tickets are easier to come by than the flu

I learned that half your grades are your attitude

I learned that it's easy to lose yourself without a positive self estemn and a strong sense of self

I learned that I am still a bit naive and really need to think things through before making impulsive decisions about certain things

I learned that you don't have to drink and party to have fun in college

It's taken me 5 years, or maybe I should say 23, but I've finally realized who I am and that is truly powerful

written 3.11.05

Flowers

Flowers from my love!
Blessing from above?
Symbol in disguise..
Breathing in their scent, I close my eyes

Momentary bliss,
Holding out for another kiss
Wishing for much more
Wondering what for

Red and purple, white and pink
I replenish the water from my kitchen sink
Positioning the vase by my bed
So thoughts of you always fill my head

Memorizing the card so I can read again at will
I hold my breath as you say words I don't want to hear
And they remain very still
Uprooted from the ground and now unable to grow
In bloom as fleetingly as our love
Flowers

written 3.3.08

Losing Again

You are so non-sequiter
The way you do and don't do things
Always leaving me puzzled
But only sometimes in a good way

Chasing after this for way too long
Though finally wise enough to know
It shouldn't happen
I've been burned before
And the emotional distress I'm facing now and we're not even together should be warning sign enough

'Contents not suitable for consumption'
Is a phrase that comes to mind
The sad part is that we are compatible
But those scars we've acquired along the path will hold us back
In all the ways that matter

They always do

written 2.15.08

Road to Nowhere

I can't get over you
There's nothing else for me to do
I've tried every way I know
To make you love me but you - don't

I've made myself sick
I've had so much hope
I'd drop anything if you called
Maybe I should move far away
And then I wouldn't think about you Everyday

What's there left for me to do?
I can't stop believing I'm gonna marry you
I know you're thinking nothing of the sort
And my last name will never change to

When I'm with you I can't turn away from your gaze
Everything you say matters to me
How can you not feel it too?
In case you didn't realize
I'm head over heals for you


written 1.10.02

College Crush

You kissed me and then you left my life
You kissed me...oh wouldn't it be nice, if you hung around
What did I do? Or was it that I simply wasn't good enough for you?

I sit in my room and watch the time tick by
It's funny but I can't even let a tear fall from my eye
Your room is only a couple footsteps away
Should I bother you, I wouldn't know what to say

I like your smile, maybe I could sit next to you for awhile
Where did you go? Your hand was in mine but then it left
Without even telling me so
Now I am sad and I'm feeling more alone than I did before I knew you existed so close to me

If you brought another girl home I'd eat my paper and I'd spit it in your face

written February 2001

Queen Elizabeth

Dance with me
Oh ballerina girl
Master of the arts
Leader on the stage of life
Queen of all men's hearts

Teach me how to move like you
Full of such beauty and grace
Never a slip up, never a fall
Smile permantely stretched across your face

I want to wear a costume
Bright with sequins and color
I want to be the best
I want to watch the world applaud for me
And know I'm better than the rest

So take me in your arms Queen Elizabeth
Please give me a dancing lesson
Look into my eyes and see
You'll hear my heart's confession

I don't want mediocracy
I refuse to walk through life unseen
Twirling, spinning when the final curtain falls
They'll say she was the dancing queen

written 1.12.06

Unrequitted Sap

You're like a piece of candy that I'll never get to eat
You're like a tidal wave that sweeps me off my feet
You're like a dance that was over way too fast
You're like a swan in water

You're like a movie where the ending keeps you guessing
When you look into my eyes, it's like you are seeing the bareness of my soul
I've never felt that way with anyone
It's like there's nothing I can hide

You are sometimes weary and sometimes strong
You often times remind me of my favorite song
The one I like to sing along

I wish I didn't have to write about you all the time
I wish I could just tell you

written 3.25.01

Video Update

Video Update is the place to be
Start working here and you get movies for free
Joe's the boss, he likes to smoke
Our soda machine has root beer and coke

Customer satisfaction is our guarentee
But return movies late and we'll make you pay a fee
Magazines, video games, and candy on display
The only thing that sucks is the stinkin awful pay

Preview tapes we know by heart, they play them every hour
Sometimes we get annoying phone calls
From people who are sour

The thing I like the most are the people who work here
Reily, Steve, Amanda and Jonathan
Who had a knife stuck up his rear

We all hate to close, it's never any fun
But sometimes we goof off and around the store we run
8 hour shifts with a 15 minute break
When people rent porn, we check their ID's to make sure it's not fake

written August 2000

10th Grade

We returned to school in September as veterans at East
The smells of dirty bathrooms and the cafeteria stained with grease
Cheerleading took up most of our time
Tank tops were not to be worn, for it was deemed a crime

Robin broke the rule one day and got caught by Mr. Pat
In the hole she had to sit, the kid next to her was fat
We spent hours decorating for the homecoming dance
Joy went with a guy named Matt, Mike Pizii had no chance

Robin and Jason broke up on Thanksgiving
Depression and sadness were now part of living
Pollyana party at Pam's was lots of fun
But winter was dreary, we didn't see much sun

Snowboarding trips each Friday night
We also cheered for basketball and 'yo that was tight'
Many trips to the movies, we watched as Titanic sank
Jen developed a crush on a nice boy named Frank

Nick Lombardo took Robin to the winter formal
He forgot her crosage which she thought was rather abnormal
She also went on a ski trip to Vermont
And got on some seniors who were unbeliveably hot

In Spring we participated in the M.S. Walk
We met two guys, both named Nick and we started to talk
Finally the school year was coming to an end
We were excited that Summer was just around the bend

High school now was half complete
Let out of the freezing classrooms, free to enjoy the Summer's heat!

written 9.11.98

Freshman Year

So much happened in the 9th grade
I'll write it all down so the memory won't fade
On the first day of school we were unsure and afraid
In October we went to a Halloween parade

We had some fun and tried out for sports
We also faced rejection of all sorts
The pep ralleys and bonfire were really cheesy
Robin made friends with a guy named Mike Pizii

The winter concert was pretty cool
We talked to Jon Parsons and started to drool
On Wednesdays Robin ditched Study Hall
She went to Jill's lunch and they had a ball

We got acquainted with a brand new clique
Made connections with seniors who thought we were slick
And who could forget those ski trips to Blue
Where American Pie became a legend to you!

Then there were many a football game
And classes we thought were utterly lame
Shopping occasions at the mall
There was that time Jill did NOT hook up with Paul

Winter vacation spent at Jack Frost
New friends made and old friends lost
Working on the freshman float
For homecoming court, we were able to vote

The homecoming dance was kind of silly
But we all had a blast thanks to Billy
Also we had a winter formal dance
Where Fizz and Kelly Dacko ended their romance

How about that time we got a ride home from Matt
And Nick Lombardo, now that was phat!
We were on stage crew for the musical Grease
A guy named Sev Kessler got arrested by the police

Harley's class was fun and we sang
When walking by Eugene we said 'Hubba hubba Hwang!'
Another fine accomplishment was making friends with Kevin
And Rob Bradfield, can we say player - was very close to heaven

The best was when Matt Dionne played the part of Danny
And during the scene Mooning, we watched him shake his fanny
Even though we weren't together, Spring Break was lots of fun
When we came back we realized that the year was almost done

We went to NYC to see the King & I
When the seniors finally graduated, I almost started to cry
We began going once a week, to the YMCA
And then we found Maryland Avenue, where Matt and Joey play

Another cool thing we got to do was go to a concert in Philly
Jill's surprise party was lots of fun, by the end of the night we were silly
Spring soccer was phat cause we were on the same team
And we can't even tell ya about our little New Orleans scheme!

I can't believe the year is actually at its close
Not at all like this, if another path we had chose
Someday we'll look back and laugh in foolish sin
But it was the best time in our life, cause we were the Freshmen!

written in June 1997

Haiku Poems

Waiting impatiently
For affection
From you

Learning of your selfishness
My tolerance
Grows thin

Watching trains in Norristown
I think
What a waste of my time

Unappreciating my presence
I mirror
Your cold ways

Seeing a lady from church at Planned Parenthood
I think
God is with me

Sitting in Dr. Kimmey's office
My life's puzzle is unsolved
Peice by peice

Black monstrosity
Drooling pest
Reynolds cat

Shower running
Mirrors steamed
69ing in water

Cran-orange juice
Muggy kitchen
Summer at Bellingham

Roleta screen saver
Mattress on floor
Brad's house again

My crotch tingles
Through thoughts
Of You

We don't say
"I love you"
Anymore

Sharp pain
Shiny silver ring
Rites of passage

Steel 10G needle
Driving through skin
Happy 18th Birthday

Bodies entwined in passion
Static screeching nosie
Merzbow

Splattered paint on walls
Lying in your king-sized bed
I'm screaming inside

Anticipating an orgasm
The phone rings
During sex

Old buildings
Rotting industrial decay
You feel right at home

At the peak of my anger
You smile
I'm in love

I feel the sun's warmth
As we masterbate
In your grandmother's outdoor shower

Collecting seashells
on Cape Henlopen
Spending Labor Day with you

Winching in pain from menstural cramps
I breath a sigh
Of relief
written 9.3.99

Scars

Remember how we started out
Young, innocent, naive
You never forget your first love
Isn't that what they say?

Why did you bring me so much hurt?
Gazing back on 99'
I know I wasn't very smart
It was such a gamble
I didn't know you then
But I handed you my heart

Then you went astray
I was crushed and terribly broken
There was just no getting over it
I had to get away

Alienated, isolated from family and friends
A town I loved, an education
But my scars continued to be on constant display

I hope you're jerking off to my picture
And I hope you're really sorry
I wish I could spit on you for the pain you put me through
I remember it everyday
But now I'm better off, a thousand miles away

written 7.5.04

Iris

Summer days washed away
By Autumn tears that fall so fast to the ground
Awhile back we used to drive around all night
Watching stars from the swing on your porch
There was never too much time to say
How much we felt, in love

Crazy rain brought madness inside
Our relationship was now over
Closed up behind brick walls
Studying history and science
But really concentrating on the way you tasted
When you kissed me in the water

Jumping off rocks used to be so much fun
But now we just lay in silence
Taking for granted the pleasure in life
It's like lying in bed with a stranger
Longing just to hear you say you still care
Lowering myself to settle for something that never was even there
Why can't we go back to the fireworks?

written 11.98

The Girl Next Door

Do you remember
Many years ago
When we were young
How we used to play together
Every day?

It seems like yesterday
The childhood world of clowns
And cotton candy
Warm summer days
That never seemed to end

We would play hide-n-seek
From 4pm til dusk
Then sat on someone's stoop
Listening to the crickets

We'd catch lightning bugs
Talk about our dreams
About what we'd do when we grew up
Until our mothers called us in

Do you remember that one winter
When it snowed for days and days on end
We tried to build an igloo
Like the eskimos

Or when we swam in my pool
Around and around
Until we'd make a whirlpool
How about the time
We drew the beach on my driveway
With chalk
And pretended we were really there

The grand day when finally
The training wheels came off our bikes
We were free to explore the whole world in an afternoon
So long as we stayed on our own street

But those days passed quickly
And we grew bigger, as children do
Until we reached a day when we assumed
That we were too grown to play on the swings on summer nights

When I see you now
You've changed in ways I can't explain
You're like a rose that bloomed before its time
I see you pacing back and forth
From the window in my room

And when a car pulls up outside
You run downstairs and out the door
With a suitcase in each hand
The car speeds away
And the girl next door is gone

Still I long for those childhood days
When I stood on your laundry room stoop
Banged on your door
And bade you to come outside
To greet the afternoon's adventures

Allison, won't you come out and play once more?
For we are still so young...

written 9.98

Inner Strength

You needn't be burdened by trouble or fear
Whenever you need me, I'll always be here
You search far and near for a love of your own
Not bothering to notice the love that has grown

Inside of your heart, it's love for yourself
That's what makes you stronger than anybody else
You often feel confused about what you want and need
Spend time running in circles, causing your heart to needlessly bleed

Maybe the truth is you need to be free
And see all of the things you always wanted to see
We all live and learn both the good and the bad
There's always some who will be happy, and some who will be sad

You need to take time out to think and to listen
You'll know what to do, your inner voice will glisten
In order to find happiness, to yourself you must be true
Then you will succeed in everything you do.

written in 1996

Afterthoughts

Summer's almost over
What's left I cannot see
The scent of fresh cut grass is left
Inside of you and me

We live in this world, and feel many things
But we cannot escape
Someone give me wings
Trapped in this place
With streets that are paved in grey
Everything's a mistake
Or some kind of delay

written in 1996

Unable

Get up, walk around
You can do it if you try
Get up, please I'm begging you
I don't want to sit and watch you slowly die

It's been awhile since you last went out for a walk
Just as long as it's been since we had a real mother-daughter talk
Get up, you're strong, now take a stand
I'll be here if you need me, yes I will take your hand

Get up, I need you
You have so much to live for

written in 1996