Fooding for Thought

4.14.08. Exercise 13 - Having it All. The following exercise is designed to help you gain perspective on what this popular phrase means to you. In your journal or notebook, answer the following questions.

1) What does having it all mean to you? Specifically list all the things you want. Having it all means to me....having a long-lasting, secure, fulfilling relationship, while maintaining a successful career and living in a desireable place/home - having beautiful, healthy children and staying good-looking. Not getting fat.

2) If you did have it all, how would your life look? If I did have it all, I'd be married to someone I had a great amount of love and respect for. We'd be very much in love, dependent on each other and focused on personal growth, health, healing and whole living. I'd be a full-time mom raising our 3-5 lovely children and I'd also be an author and founder of Chi Tea - a successful local teahouse. We'd own a ranch house on the outskirts of Chester County and have a big yard with our own garden and pond. We'd have two cats and a dog. We'd have a fireplace pit and have lots of bonfires on cool nights and have a hot tub on our deck. My hubby and I would work out together and enjoy many physical activities. I would dance, bike, rollerblade and we'd do yoga and kickboxing. Maybe I'd teach some yoga classes on the side too.

3) Can you think of anyone who embodies the notion of having it all? I looked at Steve Irwin as someone who had it all, an adventurous life, he made a positive impact on the world and had a beautiful family and true love. Also Nicholas Sparks and M. Night Shamalyan seem to have it all to me - public success and a happy personal life.

4) When you think of attaining everything, does the idea seem overwhelming or actually possible? It does seem pretty overwhelming and I'm not really sure if it could be actually possible.

5) How do you think you would feel if you didn't eventually get it all? I think I'd feel sad but I'd still strive for a few of the things I really want.

One of the biggest obstacles female quarter-lifers create as we try to figure out what we want is setting goals that aren't specific or realistic. We buy into the myth of 'having it all' but often we don't itemize what that involves. We list things as 'great career' without really knowing what that means. We want a 'wonderful romantic relationship' but we hate dating and expect soul mates to just fall into our laps. We say we want self-confidence and balance, yet we judge and overextend ourselves. We moan and groan about our bodies, but we do not make exercise and healthy food part of our daily lives. The first step toward clairty and targeted action is to be percise and practical in our goal-setting rather than clinging to the pie-in-the-sky notion of having it all. -Christine Hassler

www.twentysomethingwoman.com

Blueberry Cobbler & Other Desserts

4.15.08. Yesterday I went to some meetings with my boss and it was a little strange spending the day with him and trying to make somewhat normal conversation. I asked him what the most challenging part is about running your own business and his answer surprised me. He said it was the personnel issues. He said the downfall of many great companies is usually because of personnel problems. I am kind of like a rock at work, so this was nice, in a sense to hear. Just knowing that more than likely, everyone is going through crap that might affect their productivity level. I don't know I'm like that because of how I was raised - my dad kept everything in our family super quiet... I have no problem letting people know what's going on in my life normally but at work, I am pretty closed up. I don't know why, maybe it's like show no weakness kind of thing, or I just don't want to give anyone there a reason to talk.

"We ain't got no place to go, let's go to the punk rock show" - MxPx

Alan & I went to see L.L Cool J this weekend and also The Starting Line. Quite the contrast of bands I suppose but both shows were a fun time. I found it funny how they portrayed LL as this larger than life iconic rap figure. I was amused more than anything at that show. The Starting Line is a punk band that really took me back to my carefree days of basement shows and cargo shorts. I love shows like that, the crowd is excited and the band is rocking out. It gives me great comfort to know that pretty much anywhere around the world you go, you can find a punk rock subculture. Alan whispered to me 'it's hard to believe we're at Disney World'. But there are people everywhere who identify with this following as I so strongly have. When I am at a show, it feels like we are all united. No differences matter, if you fall, someone picks you up. There's an unspoken understanding, everyone is looking out for one another. It's the kind of cohension you seldom experience in everyday life. House of Blues is a great venue. Another band called Bayside played too, they were pretty good.

"To all those who loved me so much, I'd like to return the favor and have something left to give.." - The Starting Line