To-Do's

3.31.08 Exercise 18. Making your to-do list. Getting out of your head and into the present moment is not an easy task. This exercise will help organize all the plans and dreams that float around in your mind. Once they are down on paper and you've committed time to thinking and acting upon them, it will be easier to let them go and focus on the here and now.

Ultimate To-Do List (no limitations!)
1) Visit a rain forest in South America
2) Drive a Porshe 911...somewhere...anywhere!
3) Swim with dolphins
4) White water raft
5) Visit Roswell, NM
6) Go to the Grand Canyon
7) Cruise to Alaska
8) Backpack through Canada
9) Go to every continent
10) Visit Australia Zoo
11) Publish a book
12) Climb a mountain
13) Have 3 kids, (water birth)
14) Get married barefoot on the beach
15) Honeymoon at a Sandals Resort
16) Build a house
17) Grow my own fruits and veggies
18) Be a motivational speaker

Your Brain's Pattern

You have a dreamy mind, full of fancy and fantasy. You have the ability to stay forever entertained with your thoughts. People may say you're hard to read, but that's because you're so internally focused. But when you do share what you're thinking, people are impressed with your imagination.

What Pattern Is Your Brain?

Life Inventory

3.28.08 Exercise 17 - Taking a Life Inventory. To get what we truly want, it is necessary to eliminate the things in our lives that do not align with our most important goals and values, and to commit ourselves 100 percent to the things we do want. Taking on too many tasks and ambitions makes it impossible to give any aspect of your life the attention it deserves. In this exercise, you'll inventory the choices you are making in your life.

1. Career: I am at a good place from a worldly viewpoint - I make good money, have a management position, a big office, flexibility and job security but for me personally, I'm not doing what I am passionate about so that's the biggest room to improve. I need to learn to make money doing what I love and believe in.

2. Romance: Well I've learned what a bad relationship is from a good relationship and something somewhere along the middle too. I've learned that true love does in fact exist, and that it is available to me and I've learned what being married is all about. I don't have anyone special right now in my life but I feel okay with that. I'm not going to lie though. Who doesn't want more romance?

3. Social Life: Right now I am really happy with my social life. I sometimes feel like I am too social, there's too much to do - a lot of options and some people who I could make more time for but don't. I like having a select group of fun friends.

4. Finances: I could certainly pay more attention to my finances and save more money but I am able to support myself so that is good enough right now I suppose. I would like to be genuinely interested in finances but it seems too hard.

5. Health: I feel very healthy but I think there's always room to improve, supplement, avoid more toxins and strengthen my body. This is one area I try to continuosly work on.

6. Physical Appearance: I am generally happy with the way I look. I like to change my hair up now and again and keep my wardrobe and accessories updated but I enjoy the way I look overall.

Letter to You

5.2.08 If you are just tuning in, welcome. This is my online archive of poetry, journal excerpts, freewriting, photography and the process of me - a work in progress. I love to write and express what I'm feeling even if my paper is the only thing that listens. My friend (sister) Shelly encouraged me to start an online blog and now I'm addicted! I love contributing to the dialogue of life - and if sharing my ideas, hopes, fears, doubts and questions helps anyone at all, then I have succeeded.

I love reading your stories too - learning what makes you tick and what you struggle with. I like to comment and give feedback but most often I tend to just observe, but I'm silently cheering you on as we all brave through this life together, leaping forward, fumbling backwards but always living, learning, loving and hopefully laughing along the way. So thank you for sharing and thank you for reading!

"If I could tell the world just one thing, it'd be, we're all okay" - Jewel

Backtalk

4.30.08 I'm feeling unglued, weighed down and convoluted. I found out that I let someone down bigtime, hurt them in a disasterous way that has majorally affected their perception of me. This is heartbreakingly devestating. The strange part is that this happened a long, long time ago but it's become apparent that the negative affect has hung over this relationship cursing it right from the start.

"Here's the things I meant but I never said" -The Starting Line

I know I messed up with friends before but it hasn't ruined our friendship, because that's what friends do, they hurt each other on accident and then they meet in the field of forgiveness and make amends. But maybe that's just the problem - that I wanted more - too much and some wounds just cut too deep I guess. It's really hard to accept when you've caused someone you care about pain and suffering.

"It'll never snow in Florida..." -NFG

I guess sometimes history has to repeat itself in order for you to truly learn and manifest a lesson from something like this. It's defeating to feel that despite my best efforts and intentions, what I have to offer will never be enough. I wonder, can we learn to cultivate acceptance for wrongs we know we can never make right?

Dealbreakers

4.30.08 "All I know is that I don't know...all I know is that I don't know nothing". -Operation Ivy

Some of my friends have been buzzing about dealbreakers lately. I have been giving it some thought. To an extent, I agree with my friend Joy. She says that ultimately, if you are really truly into someone - there are No dealbreakers. This resonates true on a lot of levels. Think about what you will deal with and put up with over someone you are smitten for. It can be both good and bad. But at the same time, we should all have standards, things that we know we should not stand for, or things that just won't work for us compatibility-wise.

For me personally, there has only ever been one dealbreaker - the ability to trust someone. When that is gone, I know the deal is over.

"You've lost your way with words, at least that's what I've heard. You've lost your way with words, and for me, what could be worse?" - The Starting Line