Delicious Friendship

4.20.08. Two thoughts for today. First of all, I am completely in love with my friend's daughter. Her name is Riley and she is absolutely the bomb. Everytime I talk to Jen on the phone, Riley wants to talk to me and although she's only 3, we have extraordinary conversations. She'll ask me how Disney World is and tell me what she's being for Halloween even though it's a long ways away. She'll remind me of the fun we had over Christmas when I played Hungry Hungry Hippos with her she says she likes her new little sister but that she didn't like her at first in the hospital. The precious innocence of her voice and the twinkle in her eye when she tugs at my hand to show me her newest toy is magical. I look forward to the days when she is older and we can hang out together and I can tell her what a crazy girl her mommy was. Tear!

"A kiss is never just a kiss, there's a whole universe of meaning contained in a kiss"

Other thought, I saw my juicy friend Liz this weekend. Lizard is a living, breathing fireball of fun. I hadn't seen her in 3 years, probably since our college graduation. She was one of the few people I clicked with while living in Illinois. When she and her hubby (my old boss from TGIF) moved an hour away from me in Florida, I was excited but we never ended up getting together. Finally I was going to be in the little seaside town of Melbourne for a concert so we would meet up for a drink but then at the last minute the concert was cancelled. I thought it'd still be a good opportunity for us to hang out so I went to visit her. It's awesome when you see someone who is just as you remembered them.

"Laughing so hard I've got tears in my eyes. Walk in the park, under sapphire skies..." - Gwen Stefani

Fooding for Thought

4.14.08. Exercise 13 - Having it All. The following exercise is designed to help you gain perspective on what this popular phrase means to you. In your journal or notebook, answer the following questions.

1) What does having it all mean to you? Specifically list all the things you want. Having it all means to me....having a long-lasting, secure, fulfilling relationship, while maintaining a successful career and living in a desireable place/home - having beautiful, healthy children and staying good-looking. Not getting fat.

2) If you did have it all, how would your life look? If I did have it all, I'd be married to someone I had a great amount of love and respect for. We'd be very much in love, dependent on each other and focused on personal growth, health, healing and whole living. I'd be a full-time mom raising our 3-5 lovely children and I'd also be an author and founder of Chi Tea - a successful local teahouse. We'd own a ranch house on the outskirts of Chester County and have a big yard with our own garden and pond. We'd have two cats and a dog. We'd have a fireplace pit and have lots of bonfires on cool nights and have a hot tub on our deck. My hubby and I would work out together and enjoy many physical activities. I would dance, bike, rollerblade and we'd do yoga and kickboxing. Maybe I'd teach some yoga classes on the side too.

3) Can you think of anyone who embodies the notion of having it all? I looked at Steve Irwin as someone who had it all, an adventurous life, he made a positive impact on the world and had a beautiful family and true love. Also Nicholas Sparks and M. Night Shamalyan seem to have it all to me - public success and a happy personal life.

4) When you think of attaining everything, does the idea seem overwhelming or actually possible? It does seem pretty overwhelming and I'm not really sure if it could be actually possible.

5) How do you think you would feel if you didn't eventually get it all? I think I'd feel sad but I'd still strive for a few of the things I really want.

One of the biggest obstacles female quarter-lifers create as we try to figure out what we want is setting goals that aren't specific or realistic. We buy into the myth of 'having it all' but often we don't itemize what that involves. We list things as 'great career' without really knowing what that means. We want a 'wonderful romantic relationship' but we hate dating and expect soul mates to just fall into our laps. We say we want self-confidence and balance, yet we judge and overextend ourselves. We moan and groan about our bodies, but we do not make exercise and healthy food part of our daily lives. The first step toward clairty and targeted action is to be percise and practical in our goal-setting rather than clinging to the pie-in-the-sky notion of having it all. -Christine Hassler

www.twentysomethingwoman.com

Blueberry Cobbler & Other Desserts

4.15.08. Yesterday I went to some meetings with my boss and it was a little strange spending the day with him and trying to make somewhat normal conversation. I asked him what the most challenging part is about running your own business and his answer surprised me. He said it was the personnel issues. He said the downfall of many great companies is usually because of personnel problems. I am kind of like a rock at work, so this was nice, in a sense to hear. Just knowing that more than likely, everyone is going through crap that might affect their productivity level. I don't know I'm like that because of how I was raised - my dad kept everything in our family super quiet... I have no problem letting people know what's going on in my life normally but at work, I am pretty closed up. I don't know why, maybe it's like show no weakness kind of thing, or I just don't want to give anyone there a reason to talk.

"We ain't got no place to go, let's go to the punk rock show" - MxPx

Alan & I went to see L.L Cool J this weekend and also The Starting Line. Quite the contrast of bands I suppose but both shows were a fun time. I found it funny how they portrayed LL as this larger than life iconic rap figure. I was amused more than anything at that show. The Starting Line is a punk band that really took me back to my carefree days of basement shows and cargo shorts. I love shows like that, the crowd is excited and the band is rocking out. It gives me great comfort to know that pretty much anywhere around the world you go, you can find a punk rock subculture. Alan whispered to me 'it's hard to believe we're at Disney World'. But there are people everywhere who identify with this following as I so strongly have. When I am at a show, it feels like we are all united. No differences matter, if you fall, someone picks you up. There's an unspoken understanding, everyone is looking out for one another. It's the kind of cohension you seldom experience in everyday life. House of Blues is a great venue. Another band called Bayside played too, they were pretty good.

"To all those who loved me so much, I'd like to return the favor and have something left to give.." - The Starting Line

Rock me

4.10.08. Belief Bio Exercise. What we believe and what we are told to believe often becomes emmeshed in our heads. This exercise is designed to help you recognize which beliefs you now hold. Often, we are unaware of our beliefs until we stop, think, and actually write them down. This exercise asks you to write a list of statements. Begin each statement with 'I believe'.

I believe there is a God.
I believe I can do anything.
I believe I am good looking.
I believe I am loved.
I believe the Earth is in danger.
I believe I am smart.
I believe I'm a good writer.
I believe I live healthy.
I believe Democrats have better ideas than Republicans.
I believe in miracles.

The three questions...freewrite the answers;

Who am I....
I am a youthful, bubbley, bright female. I'm a good friend and loyal lover. I'm a strong, independent woman, but always being helped by her family. I'm sensitive and shy, introverted and sometimes non communicative. I can be passive-aggressive. I'm an environmentalist, passionate and compassionate, joyful and loving. I'm a health-conscious consumer. I'm real.

What do I want...
I want honesty, loyalty, open communication, humor, halfway, tears of uncertainty, fun loving, good natured, big-hearted, adventurous person to spend creative time with. I want to have babies that I can grow like a garden. I want to make a HUGE difference in the world, have a firey impact, do great things that people will say 'Thank you Robin! Thank God you lived!'. I want to have lots of leisure time for myself. I want to be warm and smiled on by the sun.

How do I get what I want...
I get what I want by taking chances, by doing things differently, not conforming to the scripted plan. By being a good person, by listening to my heart and trusting the goodness in others. I get what I want by writing it down, making it real and taking baby steps towards the goal.

Animation Station

4.5.08. Here's what I'm thinking. Back when I was...naive, I used to think people who had been through all this crazy stuff had baggage and I thought that was bad. Everyone I'd ever gotten involved with who was riddled with 'stuff' would end up hurting me. But now I think of it more like 'experience' and that is actually a really good thing. It's only bad baggage if they don't reflect, learn and grow from it. Because then they will continue to repeat negative patterns but like in my own case - I've become quite an experienced women in this life and I think that's really wonderful. My past has shaped me into the women I've become and I am quite happy with myself.

"Impossible means I'm Possible! Plant all your impossible gardens, and see what blooms" -SARK

For awhile I was looking for someone who hadn't been through all the crap I had because I wanted to save them from the pain but now I know that just isn't possible. You don't become who you are without going through that stuff. So my plan backfired and I ended up hurt...again. Now, I would rather be with someone who has a big bulk of life experience under their belt because hopefully they will be able to teach me a few things.

"Have wild imaginings, transformative dreams and perfect calm"

I feel good because I realized that I can be happy in a relationship, or being single. One is not better than the other and should not be compared. The two are very different. I won't say I prefer one over the other but I do know that I am wonderful either way and that is happiness. I'm glad I got married, I love being married and I look forward to being that way again if it turns out that way. But otherwise I am radiant, and glowing and looking forward to independence and all the other joys about living. juicy. succulent. ripe. rare. female.

Have a go.

"I think it's possible to forget how ALIVE we really are. We can become dry and tired, just existing, instead of really living. We need to remind ourselves of the juice of life, and make that a habit" -SARK