Cuteness

My best friend is in love. Sweet, spinning, skipping, spooning, never-let-me-go, kind of love. I am so happy to see her...this happy. I remember what it's like to be cherished to my bones and cared for so strongly and I am tickled to know that she has found the reflection of her soul's beauty in another to this magnitude. It is quite special to have been involved in the process of watching two people find each other when the odds were stacked against them from the beginning. To realize that when two beings have the desire to be together, nothing will stand in their way is jolting and refreshing.

We are all made for this kind of loving. Sadly, I believe some people will never experience it or will only find it fleetingly in their lives. People are afraid to really open their hearts to another person. But when you do, you will find the most beautiful and fulfilling feelings you've ever known. I am thankful to have felt loved and to have been allowed to give my love so deeply to another and I look forward to future love as it awaits somewhere out there for me. In the meantime, I will keep watching an exquiste love story unfold in my own backyard. Cheers my good friends <3

Fabulously Ever After

Last weekend I, wishing I had my entourage of fabulous women friends to share the experience of seeing a classic chick flick with, went to see Sex and the City - the movie by myself. Geography and busy schedules kept me from getting my wish but I could not wait to see the movie version of a tv show that has inspired me and served as therapy to my sometimes weary soul.

Around the time of my fairly recent break up, I ordered Season 1 of Sex and the City from Amazon. Instantly, I was hooked. I was enamoured with the storyline, women in their thirities living in New York City trying to find a suitable partner while experiening all the challeneges and mishaps of dating and relationships many of us face today. Strong, successful women who celebrate being single and fabulous in a culture where women in their thirties are more or less expected to be married and having children. I feel that this tv show is so important. It sheds light on many issues women have never felt safe talking about before. The voice of Carrie Bradshaw (played by Sarah Jessica Parker) who plays a writer on the tv show, through her sex column asks real life questions so many of us struggle with such as 'Do you have to play games to make a relationship work?', 'Can there be sex without politics?', 'Is timing everything?', 'Is honesty really the best policy?', 'Are we getting wiser or just older?' The threaded theme of the story is the glue of female friendship.

As I sat in the dark movie theater, I was relieved that I had come to this movie alone because I found myself surprisingly overcome with emotion. I cried during much of the movie. I cried for the love that I have lost, for the strength that I have found in myself and for the deep longing I feel to be reconnected to my girlfriends as we once were. I cried for the unfairness of life circumstances and for finding humor through it all. I realized it was the first time I had let myself go like that in a long time. I stayed through the credits because I became aware of those around me and felt slightly embarrssed. The strong bond you feel between these women on the screen recaptures that sense of togetherness and belonging I once felt with my 'chick clique'. Then somehow, life gets in the way. If you manage to stay close with just a few friends through the years, consider yourself lucky.

Afterwards, I put myself back together and as if the movie had subminially brainwashed me, I suddenly had the intense urge to go shopping. And just like that, I got my stride back.

The Invitation

It doesn't interest me what you do for a living. I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your heart's longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are. I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dream, for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon. I want to know if you have touched the center of your own sorrow, if you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and closed from fear of further pain. I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fix it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own, if you can dance with wildness and let the ecstasy fill you to the tip of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, to be realistic, to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you are telling me is true. I want to know if you can dissapoint another to be true to yourself; if you can bear the accusations of betrayal and not betray your own soul; if you can be faithless and therefore trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty, even when it's not pretty, every day, and if you can source your own life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine and still stand on the edge of the lake and shout to the silver of the full moon, "Yes!"

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have. I want to know if you can get up, after the night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done to feed the children.

It doesn't interest me who you know or how you came to be here. I want to know if you will stand in the center of the fire with me and not shrink back.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied. I want to know what sustains you, from the inside, when all else fails away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself and if you truly like the company you keep in the empty moments.

From The Invitation by Oriah Mountain Dreamer

The Cake Conversation

I was just flipping through my 'inspiration book' which is essentially a scrapbook I created to give me a lift whenever I am feeling blah and I came across a witty and smart conversation my dear friend Jen and I had back in 2002. I had to laugh as I read it but it inspired me to share.

Pixy516: I just finished watching The Wedding Planner :-(
GrapeGirl81: Oh Jen don't think of that stuff
Pixy516: Kill
GrapeGirl81: Listen this is how it is...everyone is messed up right now...in the process of learning. Think about it. No one is really capable of giving complete love right now because we're all going through the experiences we need to become emotionally strong and mature and that's how it's supposed to be. It's like, you wouldn't want to take a cake out of the oven if it's not cooked all the way...it wouldn't taste good...that's how you have to look at it. We are all works in progress. Things will fall into place eventually and it will all work out for the best.
Pixy516: That's good
GrapeGirl81: Yeah I thought that all up today
Pixy516: How do you know when to take the cake out?
Pixy516: Will it ever cook?
Pixy516: And even if it's cooked, what if it's never fully cooked?
GrapeGirl81: I know sometimes it gets lonely and it's hard to wait but my dad gave me some good advice, he's like the best thing you can do to bring good things your way is to focus on the future, making sure you do good in school, establish independence for yourself and get really confident and comfortable with who you are
Pixy516: I'm serious. People are going to be uncooked forever.
GrapeGirl81: This is true
Pixy516: So it's never a good time...to take the cake out
GrapeGirl81: I mean we are all humanly imperfect. Like today at work, this woman asked if she could get a discount on a book she was purchasing because it was damaged a little...'not perfect' she said
GrapeGirl81: The guy who was ringing her up said very matter of factly...well we aren't perfect either
GrapeGirl81: I just say keep the cake in the oven until the timer goes off...and you will hear it baby! It will ring loud and clear
Pixy516: I don't decide when the timer goes off though
GrapeGirl81: Right, it's not in your hands. But it'll be worth it. When it's finally done you get to decorate it and put the icing on and eat it!
Pixy516: I can control the degrees
GrapeGirl81: It'll be so yummy, and then you'll get fat!
Pixy516: I don't really like cake
GrapeGirl81: Oh.
Pixy516: What about...a pie
GrapeGirl81: Yes, a pie will work too
Pixy516: Good
GrapeGirl81: Pie is better because when it's done, you get to see what's underneath the crust
Pixy516: Stab it with a fork!

Anticipation

5.20.08 Hey blog,
Life has been unfolding, as it often does. This coming weekend is Memorial Day already and I'm heading home for a couple of days graced by the company of my dear friend Shelly. I'm very excited because Shelly's never been to where I'm from and I absolutely relish in introducing someone I care about to the wonderous world of my history, lol. I had a fabulous time stepping into Shelly's past when we visited her family last year over Labor Day and seeing all that played a part in shaping who she is and now she'll get to see mine. It's going to be a busy trip but filled with fun I'm anticipating. Here are the plans:

Friday - Drive to West Chester and show her where I went to high school and college and my old house and all the fun Dub C landmarks and definately introducing her to Wawa. Possibly visiting my friend Jen and meeting her newest daughter Charlie and then celebrating Jen's birthday at the West Chester bars with my friend Kelly and hopefully running into others who are in town.

Saturday - Driving up to Lake Mohawk, NJ to spend the day with my brother. It's supposed to be nice weather so taking his boat out on the lake and catching up sans the rest of the family (they'll still be in Brazil)

Sunday - Heading back to West Chester for Janine's bridal shower in the afternoon. Going to Wildwood, NJ that evening to hang out with Kara and her friend at the boardwalk, stay at their hotel.

Monday - Spend Memorial Day at the beach! Drive back to my parent's place and hang out with them in the evening, go out to dinner.

Tuesday - Hang out with my parents at their place in NJ and then leave for the airport in the afternoon to come back to sunshine state fun.

'Don't forget your roots' -H2O