Spice Up Your Life

5.22.01. Carolyn and I are going to KOP soon. Maybe I can find a bathing suit for the beach next weekend. Yeah right.

I just heard on the radio that Weezer is coming back to town. Whooo hoo!

Adam came to visit me at work last night and told me to hang out with him but I didn't...he keeps calling me. I feel bad. There's just too much going on right now.

Jen and I went rollerblading today. We saw Jason Walling and Jim Krill and Vinnie. Seeing people from the past can be annoying.

4.14.01. So I'm at the park. I feel kind of sad. I don't know. I feel I should just be able to overcome these feelings without dwelling in them but dwell is what I do. I wonder what he does. I guess maybe he doesn't think about it at all. But how can he not? How could I let myself get so emotionally involved without him? Why didn't I see the signals? Because I didn't want to. Even though he flirted with me, he never indicated that we'd be together. Why doesn't he ever go to the park. Does it make him sad? It's beautiful here. Why did he do this to me? Why did I do this to myself? Why did I let him? Why do I still have hope? Why do I really believe that he'd make me happy? What did he want from me? Why was I so stupid to let it mean so much? Why are things so unfair? Why are these little kids screaming in my ear? The Sixers are losing the playoffs. Their last chance is Friday night. Where is romance? All I do is work now. I want the school year to start again. And then I want to transfer to Elon to be far away from my misery.

"For a long time, I was in love. Not only in love, I was obsessed. With a friendship that no one else could touch. It didn't work out. I'm covered in shells" -No Doubt