Ping Pong

6.25.01. Ugh, somehow he has hurt me again. This time it's over. forever. end. It has to be. I can't talk to him anymore. At all. I have to let this go.

"Falling for you was the easy thing to do, if only I could make you hang around" -The Ataris

Kara thinks he's not over his ex and that they're meant to be together.

Janine thinks he's going through a phase.

Jill thinks there's someone better for me.

*Band-aid for my heart*

Joy came over and was super there for me and I jumped in her pool and realized how good it feels just to be alive.

"I loved him so much. And talked about him so much. And thought about him so much. It was like he lived inside me and had possession of my soul or something. And then one day....I got over him" -My So-Called Life

I started summer school today. I dropped one class though, the professor was a dick.

I love my friends a lot. Jill sent me a card online saying I'm her best friend in the world!!

Here's to the brokenhearted. A generation lost in denial.

"They're playing love songs on the radio tonight. I can't relate to that right now" -Jets to Brazil

I don't think there's a worse feeling in the world than feeling unwanted.

All my friends tell me I deserve some great guy and blah blah blah. Well where the hell is he, did he get lost or something?

Life goes on, right?

It's cool living with Tracey but we never talk and we never do anything together. I thought this would bring us closer or something. It's kinda crappy actually.

I guess I just have to be strong and learn from this. I can be alone. I can do it. Everything I need is within.

Yoga. Water. Serenity. Sunlight. Plants. Massage. Healing. Meditation.

"C'est la vie said the old folks, it goes to show you never can tell" -Pulp Fiction soundtrack

I just feel bad about myself because what I want is not what he wants. Is there something wrong with what I want? No.

It's just that everyone wants something different right? Yeah.

But it's all the same really. We all just want love, acceptance, companionship.

People just want it in different ways? At different times? with different people?

Why not me? I'm loveable.

Look at me, being so silly, trying to figure out my life. My feelings. As if it would somehow make sense.

"Out beyond the ideas of wrongdoing and rightdoing there is a field. I'll meet you there" -Rumi