Reading Glasses

5.6.08 Sometimes I think we should learn to read a situation with our smart, and not our heart. I'm a strong believer in following your intuition or going with your gut reaction or vibe about something but I've also realized there's been a lot of times when what you think or feel is not actual reality. I know I've made quick judgement calls about people before that have turned out to be completely wrong.

When I first started playing volleyball there was this guy who I thought was just a maniac. He would get soo mad if he (or the team) messed up that he would make these horrible grunting noises of distress. I felt very intimidated around him and uncomfortable because he took things so seriously while I was just there to have fun. I didn't even want to play around him for fear of messing up or setting him off. Well that was Jeff on the volleyball court. Jeff in real life is a completely different person. In fact, he's one of the nicest, funniest, most easy-going people I know. Apparently, he's just really into sports...but because I was only seeing him from that one angle, I wrote him off as a jock with an attitude who was too competitive for his own good. I almost missed out on getting to know a good person because my perception was skewed.

Another example of this is in relationships. Did you ever play the fool for someone and give them the benefit of the doubt time and time again because of who you were convinced they were deep down, maybe who they almost were, or who they could be; when the reality of the situation was that they had shown you who they really were (or were not) by treating you a certain way but you kept letting them, expecting a change because of what your heart told you? If you had mentally stepped away from the situation and detached from your feelings, you might have gotten the information you needed and saved yourself a lot of unnecessary pain.

These are just two of many scenarios in my life when I know I have been wrong about something or someone. Often, we allow our emotions to guide us and think something is going to work out or that we are right simply because we are trusting the voice inside us. It is wonderful to be in touch with your feelings and I think we should always first and foremost listen to our hearts but we also need to practice the art of incorporating a good healthy dose of rational into how we view every situation. By paying attention to what your gut says, but also trying to see and hear a person or situation with your rational mind, you will be able to make more balanced judgement calls accordingly.

"Judge a tree by it's fruits. And ditto for people" -Unknown