3.25.08. Being 26, mildy successful in my career, secure in my friendships but on the brink of a divorce and still trying to understand my true passion or purpose in life - I am going to venture inward - in hopes of discovering that I already knew everything I needed from the beginning.
Journaling exercises from the book 20 Something, 20 Everything by Christine Hassler. Do them with me, you may surprise yourself.
Your Mother's Influence - (guy's, write about your fathers) Think about some of your mother's ways of being that you might consciously or unconsciously fight or adopt. The following questions are designed to discover how the most influential woman in your life shaped your identity.
1) What was your mother's role in your home? Do you think she liked it? My mom's role was to cook, clean, raise my brother and I, shop, and keep my dad happy. I think she truly did enjoy herself. She didn't have to worry about anything.
2) Did your mother work outside the home and how did this affect your desire to work? My mother worked for a little while when my dad lost his job and on and off after that because she really enjoyed what she was doing (temp work). I didn't like when she worked because it took her away from me. It seemed like my mom could be happy no matter what she did because she just enjoyed life. She was a happy person. I don't think it really affected my desire to work except that I wish I could only work if I wanted to, and not just for the money.
3) What did you admire about your mom? She was very attentive to all my needs - she never left me starved for attention. She was kind and gentle, never raised her voice. She usually let me have my own way, often putting my needs above her own. She went above and beyond, she always had an afterschool snack waiting for me when I came home - she was a Supermom! She never made me do chores or anything like that, she just wanted me to enjoy my childhood as much as possible.
4) What did you not like about your mother? She'd make excuses for my dad when he'd get angry. She wasn't assertive enough to stand up for herself to him and she probably didn't tell him a lot of her true feelings or opinions.
5) In what way is your mom your role model? My mom cultivates positivity. She always puts a smile on her face and makes time for other people. Even in the face of a debilatating illness, she radiates light and hope. She is all about the little things, the pats on the back, sending cards and making a big deal out of things. She has a huge heart and a lot of faith. She is the one person always able to comfort me.
6) Have you followed in the footsteps of your mother? In what ways are you similar to her? I don't think I have followed too much in her footsteps because I will most likley be a 'career woman', although I certainly wouldn't mind - maybe even would like to stay home and raise kids. I wouldn't feel like my education went to waste. I'd work part-time and plus then I could really concentrate on my writing. I am also much more stubborn and strong-willed than she is. I won't let a man control things as my father did. I did follow in her footsteps in that I'm kind, compassionate and giving and I try to have a positive attitude.
7) In what ways did you consciously decide to take another path? I decided to be more outspoken because I saw how repressed she'd been by my dad and I knew I needed to have a voice.
8) What was your mother's relationship like with your father? My mom was always very accomadating, loyal, and respectful. She relied on him for everything. She let him control her with money (maybe she didn't see it this way and would just say that's how the times were but this is what I perceived as) and she seemed very passive and feminine.
9) How was your mother's relationship with her mother? My mother and grandmother were very close. They would talk on the phone for an hour or more each week. She would ask her mom for advice on things.
10)How do you think your mother's relationships with others affected the way you behave in relationships with others? I think my mom provided me with a good foundation for relationships with others. She taught me to be giving - she was always friendly, liked to talk to other people, liked the interaction. She seems to genuinely take interest in other people's lives. She would kind of latch on to people's stories. She enjoyed many close friendships with women.
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