Breathe

"I feel like you made this world a lot better. Every day that I read your words I feel like something has changed inside me".

That is a comment someone left on this Live Journal I've been reading http://65redroses.livejournal.com

It's probably one of the things every writer longs to hear. Or anyone who dares to share their innermost thoughts and feelings. One of the highest compliments someone could receive, to know they made a difference to someone. I discovered Eva's blog through a CNN article a few weeks ago and have been feverishly trying to read through four years of entries. I've been captivated and inspired by the musings of this brave soul. She reminds me of the inner strength that lies within each of us and helps me see the gratitude in even the most dire circumstances.

One of the things Eva reveals in her Live Journal is that she's a very cheerful and positive person but her journal is a place she can be free to write about the darker feelings she has. That struck me because I'm a pretty positive person but a lot of my writing (especially poetry) is relatively dark. When I go back and read it, I'll think how depressing it sounds. On one hand, I've always felt there was something beautiful about expressing these things but at the same time I would feel hesitant for people to read them because I thought it would show I wasn't really as positive as I presented myself to the world.

Well the truth is we all have a shadow side and that's just the yin/yan of being human. We're all filled with deep melancholy and hollowness from time to time and that stuff needs an outlet just like our happy thoughts. I choose to allow mine to flow through my writing. I guess what I've realized through reading 65_RedRoses is that expressing your angst is in fact often what connects us to others and helps ease their journeys along the way. Maybe I'll be a little less shy now about sharing my own pain and raw life experiences.

Rest in peace Eva, for I know you are dancing on the sunbeams of eternity.

New Moon - not THAT one!

Another newsletter excerpt below. This is very fitting for me since on Monday, March 15th, the day of the new moon, I will begin teaching yoga and meditation classes. I am thrilled to have this opportunity and move into this new exciting period of my life.

Did you know there's a powerful new moon coming up on Monday,
March 15th? Every new moon is a time of new beginnings, and this
one is an especially good time for inspiration and new directions
that can lead to great things.

According to the astrology newsletters I read, this upcoming new
moon is unique due to the congregation of the Sun, Moon, Mercury,
and Uranus all very close together in a tight pattern that supports
inspiration, new ideas, greater insight and intuition through
alignment with higher consciousness, and breakthrough
problem-solving and decision-making. It's a good time to choose to
move beyond any old emotional patterns that are no longer serving
you.

"If you're ready to do something different, then this New Moon on
the Ides of March is a time to set some intention."
-- Madeline C. Gerwick (www.polarisbusinessguides.com)

"The creative impulse that is borne out of this New Moon is
powerful and intelligent in its impact, and can be harnessed for
great things. ... This New Moon is definitely worth planning for
due to the inspiration that is unlocked here. This is not so much
time for collaboration as it is for initiating new ideas and new
inner awakenings."
-- Lynn Hayes (www.astrodynamics.net)

This weekend into Monday is a good time to reflect on what new
directions you'd like to take over the next few months. I
especially recommend doing this if it's been a while since
you've done any new feng shui in your space.

Revisit the ba gua, and think about (and/or meditate on) which
areas represent the changes you'd most like to see over the next
few months. Since "thinking about" implies a somewhat logical,
left-brain approach, be sure also to allow your intuition space to
speak up. It might point you in a new direction you haven't yet
considered.

If you've been focused on one particular aspect of life for a while
(relationships, or prosperity, for example), be sure to remain open
to looking in a different direction at this time. You don't have to
set those relationship or financial ambitions aside, but do be open
to an intuitive nudge that points you in a new direction. The
energy of this new moon is about changing your focus in some way;
you have the opportunity now to do that deliberately and with
strong intention, rather than waiting for something to surprise you
down the road.

If your life has been going well and you have no burning desire
for a new direction, you might choose to focus on an area of your
home that you'd especially like to change, declutter, reorganize,
or redecorate.

Once you've clarified a strong new moon intention, write it on a
piece of paper, and place it in the relevant gua within your home
or office. (Be sure to focus on the positive OUTCOME you desire, not
on any specific problem or challenge you want to overcome.)

What "new beginnings" will you focus on for this powerful new moon?

Mistakes

Here's an excerpt from an inspirational newsletter I receive. It really applies to my life right now, as I have been beating myself up almost obsessively about mistakes I have made in the past. Thanks for the reminder that our failures connect us, not divide us.

This week I met a new acquaintance for coffee introduced through mutual connection who thought we could both benefit from knowing and networking with each other. What I thought would be a professional meeting became a get together between kindred spirits and the beginning of a lasting friendship.

We got our coffee and began talking about ourselves, but instead of rattling off our bios and describing what we do, we spoke more candidly about the twists and turns in our lives that have shaped who we are. She shared about being laid off from a job that ended a 17 year career path, going though a divorce and other life changing challenges. And as I shared about my own expectation hangovers, relationships that ended abruptly and past struggles with confusion, depression and hopelessness, a bond began to form.

Then she said the most insightful thing, "I love speaking about my failures because they always connect me to people. My failures humanize me." In that moment I was experiencing the truth of that statement. By opening up to each other and sharing authentically about our "human-ness" there was instant intimacy. It also reminded me that most of the emails I receive and the clients that come to me for coaching are drawn to me because they relate to my failures - not because of any of my accomplishments or training.

My encouragement today is to be UPlifted by your failures. Bring them into the light instead of keeping them in the dark because of shame or judgment. Failures really are simply course correction as long as you are willing to learn from them versus using them as something to beat yourself up with. When you speak more openly about your mistakes and how they have affected you, it supports you in letting go of shame you may be feeling. Today and each day change the way you see failure because truly all of your mistakes are masterpieces.

"My imperfections and failures are as much a blessing from God as my successes and my talents and I lay them both at his feet." Mahatma Gandhi

Disney Magic

This past January marks seven years since I first ventured to Florida to call it my 'home' for the Walt Disney World College Program. There are some things in your life you're just downright certain about. When I saw the flier for the Disney College Program on my college campus I just knew, this was for me. My mind was made up that I was going to Disney and secretly I think my heart hoped, I would stay there forever.

As I drove to the Philadelphia train station late at night to pick up my brother one snowy evening, car packed to the brim - thanks to my dad's amazing packing skills, I was rearing to go. My brother was to accompany me and help with the 17-hour drive but he slept through the night in the passenger seat and I drove a good twelve hours straight. I couldn't wait to get there and start my new life.

The College Program was everything I expected and more. Magic, wonder, new friends, romance, warm weather, a creative job, all set in a beautiful backdrop - Lake Buena Vista, Florida. My job at Disney pushed me out of my comfort zone. All day long I was talking with and helping guests. I worked long 12-hr shifts many days, sometimes six days a week. I had a role that required I speak in front of large audiences...and act at the same time. It really was (cliche) a dream come true.

And what did we do when we weren't working? We played in the parks and all over property - for free. We didn't have far to go to experience all the entertainment our hearts could desire. We partied the nights away at Downtown Disney's Pleasure Island (sadly no longer there) and we ended each day with spectacular firework displays. This went on for a whole eight months and if we ever became disenchanted, we'd venture off to Tampa, Cocoa Beach, Miami, Key West or any of the other nearby destinations we had at our fingertips.

Now I can't lie and say there weren't days when guests would drive you up the wall and your feet were sore and you just stood outside in a thunderstorm and you were incredibly homesick for your friends and family or anything familiar but overall, this was an experience of a lifetime and I'm truly grateful for having had the chance to have lived it.

After it was over it was time to go back to the 'real world'. That was hard. It was like coming off a drug high. You weren't prepared for how much longing you'd be left with, for how much you'd desire that 'Disney fix', so you'd resort to online message boards where other alumni could share about their experiences, you'd plan reunions with your roommates and you'd vow to return for an advanced internship or to work summers, or at very least, a trip back to visit over spring break.

It was hard re-adjusting to normal life when you felt completely different. You were changed. And others couldn't necessarily understand that. You'd met people from all over the world, had relationships you'd never imagined having... you'd finally become yourself somehow. And you didn't ever want to let go of that.

I worked at Disney again after graduating from college and I became friends with kids who were on their college programs. I felt joy as I reminded myself how special it was for them. Now though most of my photo albums are put away, I still take mental vacations to that fond time period every so often. It's like an old friend, recapturing those feelings for me whenever I am seeking to be inspired or feeling down. I often wish I had a tribute - a video yearbook, something more than my mind that would replay some of my favorite scenes for me. Searching to see if something of sorts was out there, I found this person's homemade video they posted on YouTube and it rekindled some of those memories and the magical energy Disney will forever represent for me.

Why I Write

Ever since I can remember I had either a pen or a book in my hand. Poems, short stories, journal entries, letters...there's something magical and definitive about the written word. There's something about the labor of love it takes to produce something entirely original and your own.

Something about staring at a blank sheet of paper and letting whatever happens to be spinning in your head flow out and become a tangible thing. Writing comforts me, it teaches me, and so long as I have range of motion in my hand, it's one thing I know I'll never be without. Other hobbies may come and go but writing isn't like a hobby; writing is my oxygen.

I write to create, I write to affirm, I write to figure out what the heck I'm really feeling. I write to explore, to discover, to learn. I write to entertain myself and others. I write to communicate my innermost thoughts. I write to expand on subjects I didn't know I had much of an opinion on.

I write because I love the way words look and because I can arrange them and rearrange them until I get them 'just right'. I write to re-experience things, I write to let go of things, I write to rewrite endings to stories gone wrong. I write to tell others of the treasures I've found on my journey.

I write to feel less alone. I write so others will feel less alone. I write because it is the best therapy I know. I write because on paper my head never has to worry about what to say next, it simply pours out and it doesn't sound silly. I write to keep from going crazy, I write because I am crazy - all writers are, say some. I write in order to see my feelings as separate from myself so I don't have to get stuck in them. I write to release.

Thanks for reading my words. I hope whatever meaning you've constructed from them serves you well.

<3

She's Got Personality..

free enneagram test

I thoroughly enjoy taking personality quizzes. It's fun to learn some of the factors behind your psychological make up. I'm not implying I believe all people come down to is formulas but usually, I find these tools to be quite accurate. I always then want to know what 'type' my dear friends and family fall under because it's interesting to compare and see how similar or different we are. Often, it allows me to have an 'aha moment' where I'll think...wow that explains a lot.

I'm not curious because I want to categorize people as this or that but because acknowledging their unique character traits and beginning to see why people behave the way they do helps move me from a place of misunderstanding to a deeper level of compassion, love, and acceptance.

I've realized that in life, the people I have felt the closest to are the ones who have been not afraid to show their most colorful feathers, or peel back layers of skin with me to examine even the most obscure parts of ourselves. These people were not inhibited by fear of judgement, mine or their own, but instead were bravely honest about the underdeveloped parts of themselves.

I have always appreciated this level of authenticity and self disclosure and I strive to offer this same clear portrait of myself to those whom I have the pleasure of 'truly meeting' along life's path.

Hello Gorgeous!

Hi blog, I'm back!! Really, I am this time. I've been meaning to write sooner but there's just been so much going on in my life and I haven't known where to start. But here is as good a place as any.

Reflecting on prior entries, wow - sometimes I write a LOT. I'm going to focus on keeping my blogs succinct because I know it can get overwhelming to read so much at one time and who really has that much time on their hands anyhow?

But what I promise to give you is a regular peek into my life, my thoughts and feelings, the most fragile parts of myself; to share what I'm learning, exploring, and improving upon so that I can best navigate through this puzzle of a world.

I've been living at the beach for more than a year now and it's feeling more and more like home every day. But I miss my girlfriends in Orlando a great deal because they are some of the most wonderful people I have ever met and I haven't been so lucky as to find close girlfriends yet here.

No matter how well things are going, you always need a true friend whose couch you can take safe harbor on, whose shoulder you can lay your head to rest when you've had a bad day, and with whom you can smile and laugh over a cup of hot tea while you share the lighter details of your days.

So tonight I'm asking the Universe to send me some fun-loving, loyal girlfriends in the Palm Beach area, available immediately for couching, scrapbook evenings and other girlie adventures!

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

By William Ernest Henley

Love this poem and the movie. So inspiring!!

What Team?!!!

In recent months I have become a full-fledged High School Musical fan. For those who think HSM is for kids and wonder what the heck has gotten into me, I feel the need to explain. First of all, let me say that I resisted for a long time. Despite working at Walt Disney World in 2006 when the first movie was released, I didn’t catch wind of its momentous impact. It was there, trying to creep through the back of my mind but I rejected it outright telling myself it was ‘dumb’, and nothing like the really good stuff that Disney produced when my generation was growing up. The overly catchy songs and dances were nothing I hadn’t heard before. In fact, they seemed a little hyper and overdone for my taste. But how often are the very best stories the ones we have heard before, but told in a completely fresh and wonderful way?




High School Musical is the story of Troy and Gabriella, two characters you know all too well. They could be Danny and Sandy in Grease, or Baby and Johnny in Dirty Dancing. But in this story they are modern day high school students who meet at a ski resort over winter break and get paired up for a karaoke duet on New Year’s Eve. What transpires during their song is a rare kind of chemistry and attraction that will warm your heart and captivate you and becomes even sweeter when you learn the actors were falling in love in real life as well as onscreen. The “Start of Something New” number lifts you up off your seat onto a journey you can’t help but give yourself over to. All three films are dressed in cheesy lines, exaggerated character depiction, and feel-good songs that will leave you sneaking your kid’s soundtrack in the car so you can have your own private HSM sing-a-long as you drive home from work.




After the first movie, the two sequels are practically prescriptive but highly enjoyable nonetheless. The music and dancing only get better and better. But what's it really about? High School Musical is about supreme possibility. It indulges us in the high school experience we all should have had but far from what most actually experience. Still, it creates a sense of nostalgia in us. It is about the innocence and purity of young love and the sacredness of close friendships. Most importantly, it reminds us that if we are able to overcome the major obstacles so many adolescents face like social cliques, insecurities, and the uncertainty of our futures, and learn to be ourselves and follow our hearts, we truly are unstoppable. A simple message but an invaluable and inspiring lesson. Go Wildcats, Game On!!



So which is the best movie of the series you wonder? Well you might just have to watch and find out..

Who Am I?

Who Am I?

I am the words that pour from my lips, lighting my way into tomorrow.

I am a shadow of my former self with softer edges, defined by the light of my understanding.

With divided loyalties I am committed to the two until they merge into one.

I am the higher self reflected back in a moment of intimacy and genuine relationship.

I am the question that remains on the fringe of recollection.

I am the intuition that rises in a moment of stillness. I am the stillness.

I am the crest of a wave, carried forward, serving its purpose then relenting.

I am the current that gently supports a falling leaf, moving it into its next cycle.

I am the fragrance of jasmine, blooming a welcome to the onset of night.

I am the gurgle in a new baby's giggle, a song of wonderment and mirth.

I am the smell of wet soil, promising fertility and completion.

I am the whisper heard in a chattering brook, of stories yet untold.

I am the warmth of the sun on your face on a long autumn day, telling of seasons to come.

I am the crackling of a fire as it baptizes a length of hickory.

I am the spark of recognition in the face of a friend, warming the corners of your heart.

I am you.

With remembrance and expansion dawns the space to carry all.

-Author Unknown

A Year Gone By

I haven’t written a blog on here in a whole year – wow. And what a strange and transformational year it’s been for me. We are all in the ever present process of evolving, growing, changing, and reinventing. Despite losing what I thought was the love of my life, a marriage, and the hopes and dreams we shared together over the course of five years, I have found that I still have all the love and abundance one needs; through strong, wonderfully supportive friendships, loving family members, and the incredible and endlessly fascinating relationship I have with myself.

I am living and creating the life I want each and every day. I am reminded that, and hope to continually remind others, that happiness is an internal factor. Nothing in this physical world can provide a permanent sense of satisfaction if you haven’t tapped into your light within. We are all the same and we are all connected and that is why you should express yourself freely to the world, so that others may feel less alone. In healing others, you too become healed. I wish to share with you poems, song lyrics, articles, and personal experiences as a resource to foster inner growth and cultivate your own spiritual wisdom. I wish you all deep, conscious awareness, and a flashlight to discover and radiate light on your own inner beauty.

Shine on,
Robin :o)

Watermelon Spritzer

Me.

Your Personality is the Rarest (INFJ)

Your personality type is introspective, principled, self critical, and sensitive. Only about 2% of all people have your personality - including 3% of all women and around 1% of all men. You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Judging.

How Rare Is Your Personality?

Death

David C. Kupsis, 67, of Brookhaven, died on Saturday, Aug. 16, 2008, at Taylor Hospice, Ridley Park.

Born in Ridley Park, he had been a resident of Brookhaven for the past 41 years.

He was a graduate of St. James High School, class of 1959, and West Chester University, class of 1963. He also received his master's degree from West Chester.

He had been employed by the West Chester Area School District as an elementary school teacher for 39 years, retiring in 2002. He had taught fifth grade at Penn Wood Elementary School.

He was an active member of the Church of Our Lady of Charity, Brookhaven, where he taught CCD for 20 years. He had also coached youth baseball and basketball in the Brookhaven area.

He was a member of the Accordion Pops Orchestra.

He is survived by his wife of 45 years, Mary (nee Bryan) Kupsis; one son, David C. Kupsis Jr. of Perkiomenville; one daughter, Diana (Eric) Barraclough of Brookhaven; and one brother, Charles Kupsis of Trinity, Fla. He was the grandfather of Noah and Ava Barraclough; and the brother of the late Patricia Smarowsky.

A funeral Mass will be on Wednesday, Aug. 20, at 10:30 a.m. at the Church of Our Lady of Charity, Upland Road, Brookhaven.

Interment will be in Ss. Peter & Paul Cemetery in Marple Township.

Friends may call after 8:30 a.m. at the Minshall Shropshire-Bleyler Funeral Home Middletown (Route 352) and Knowlton roads, Middletown Township, Media.

Memorial contributions may be made to Taylor Hospice, 300 Johnson Ave., Ridley Park, PA 19078.

The above is an obituary of my 5th grade teacher. He was someone I'll always remember. The kind of teacher whose students would come back year after year to visit him. The summer before 5th grade I had hoped I'd get put in his class because you always heard such wonderful things about him. But it was a hard year because he was diagnosed with prostate cancer and had to miss many months of school. We had a longterm substitute teacher whom I disliked. I've often thought about him over the years and wondered if he was still living.

There have been a lot of deaths this summer. Joy's aunt, Laura's mom, two girls I went to school with. It's always sad to hear about someone you know who has passed but it's even sadder when you think about the lives that will be affected because of the loss. I have a book called The Soul Survival Kit that offers a good perspective on death.

"Death happens, not just to the physical body of someone, but to everything that comes to an end. We are taught to be frightened of death, but death can be understood as a chance for renewal. With death, new things are born or come into your life. If you believe in reincarnation or rebirth, then the death of the physical body can be viewed as a chance for the spirit to come again.

Whatever your beliefs, allow death to have its role and purpose. By accepting it you will learn how to let go and move forward. As well, you will understand the ebb and flow of the cycle that we are inextricably a part of: birth - life - growth - attachment - death - loss - grief - disengagement - rebirth.

Death and beginnings are part of the evolution of your spirit. We need these lessons to grow up and out into the world. At the time it's very confusing, hurtful and painful and can make us bitter, angry and resentful. But we each have a duty to carry on living our life the way the Universe, God or the Spirit intended. Until it's our turn"

Om means Bliss

"Feel the rain on your skin
No one else can feel it for you
Only you can let it in
No one else, no one else
Can speak the words on your lips
Drench yourself in words unspoken
Live your life with arms wide open" - Natasha Bedingfield

I often feel euphoric surges of light and energy for no particular reason. Even when and espeically when things are not going well. I believe this euphoric state comes from the knowledge that though I cannot control external circumstances, maintaining wellness in my inner universe is always within my grasp. The trials I've had to experience have been gifts that have served a purpose and taught valuable lessons. The wisdom I have gained, I can share with others. The realization that you can overcome any obstacle, by adapting, adjusting and allowing your spirit to flourish is a joy. I wish this sense of serenity for all beings.

"I'm just an ordinary girl, living in an extraordinary world" - Gwen Stefani

I'm constantly inspired by people, places, ideas, images, music. I am ever changing, ever growing, ever manifesting and attracting the things I want and desire into my life. I believe we must take our obsessive, addictive, neurotic tendencies and channel them towards healthy practices. Bring awareness to the food you eat, to the way you live your life. Instead of turning to the television, drinking or whatever fill-in-the-blank bad habit you have, why not entertain yourself by doing something that contributes to the world in a positive way?

"The more you know, the more you realize you know nothing" - Unknown

There is so much knowledge to be consumed. Whenever you find a great teacher, someone you admire and look up to, remember that we are all each other's superiors. We all have our areas of expertise that we can share with one another. You have so much to offer. One of my favorite writers SARK just released a new book called Juicy Pens, Thirsty Paper. Instead of going to the movies or listening to a cd to hear someone else tell you a story, why not write your own? Don't become so lazy that you forget the amazing ability of your own imagination.

Check out my wellness oriented MySpace page
http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=178389624

I wish to inspire you to live a life filled with self awareness, cultivating love and respect for your body and becoming attuned to the light that exists inside you so that you may share it with others.

Namaste.

Book - It

I'm trying to sleep, really I am. But late at night for some usually annoying reason, I'm spun with creativity. It begs to be let out in any shape or form. And so I must adhere to the calling to blog. Lol.

I want to write about books. I absolutely love to read. It feels as necessary to me as breathing. I started reading early and was in a special program at school for those who had a high reading level. I looked forward to library class when we'd have stories read to us and I loved book fairs, book orders and that cheesy Book It program when the class who read the most books got a pizza party at the end.

Growing up, I'd usually read series such as The Boxcar Children, The Babysitter's Club and Sweet Valley. I would read them so quickly that it was hard for me to wait til the next book was released. I'd often come to the dinner table head buried in a book or I'd get reprimanded in school because I'd have a book under my desk and be trying to read if we were watching a movie or learning something else.

As I entered my teen years, I became a big fan of magazines. I loved going to the mailbox and finding a fresh, new magazine waiting for me. I'd cut things out, make collages and hang them on my wall. Now I am very much into what I'll call 'learning books'. I have an endless hunger for knowledge and understanding and books have always been a great source of comfort for me. Whatever I am interested in, I seek further comprehension in books. I prefer books over TV because I feel more involved in the process of reading than I do of passively sitting and watching a show.

I also love bookstores. The thought of spending an evening at a Barnes and Noble or Borders is as exciting to me as some people might get about going to a theme park or a ball game. Being surrounded by books is like being in the middle of a limitless world of possibilities. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed if I can't decided what I want to read. I love to browse through the store and see what pops out at me and grabs my attention.

I feel that books are giagantic letters to the world, and I think it's a very special thing to be able to listen to someone's story because in doing so, you connect with the voice and soul of the writer. I aspire to write and publish a book one day. To me, that would be the ultimate accomplishment. Well maybe moreso if I knew people were actually buying it :-)

Oh, so back to the whole idea behind this blog entry (boy, I get carried away sometimes) I was just looking at my overflowing bookshelf and thinking how I'd like to have a library in my house. Just a whole room of books and comfy chairs with big pillows so people could just relax and curl up with a book if they wanted. I have so many books at my parents house, packed away in boxes. This thought makes me shudder. Their messages are not getting out there. I like the idea of passing on books when you are done with them but I also like to keep them as reference materials. The good thing about books is that you can pick them up again and again and get something different out of them every time.

So that's it really, hope you enjoyed my entry. If reading for pleasure isn't your cup of tea, leave me a comment and tell me what you like!

Poems

I've been meaning to blog but too much is going on right now. Here are three of my alltime favorite poems in the meantime. Much love,

Robin




Stopping By Woods On A Snowy Evening

Whose woods these are I think I know.
His house is in the village though;
He will not see me stopping here
To watch his woods fill up with snow.
My little horse must think it queer
To stop without a farmhouse near
Between the woods and frozen lake
The darkest evening of the year.
He gives his harness bells a shake
To ask if there is some mistake.
The only other sound's the sweep
Of easy wind and downy flake.
The woods are lovely, dark and deep.
But I have promises to keep,
And miles to go before I sleep,
And miles to go before I sleep.

By Robert Frost

PHENOMENAL WOMAN

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies
I'm not cute or built to suit a model's fashion size
But when I start to tell them
They think I'm telling lies.
I say
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips
The stride of my steps
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please
And to a man
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees
Then they swarm around me
A hive of honey bees.
I say
It's the fire in my eyes
And the flash of my teeth
The swing of my waist
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say
It's in the arch of my back
The sun of my smile
The ride of my breasts
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say
It's in the click of my heels
The bend of my hair
The palm of my hand
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally
Phenomenal woman
That's me.

by Maya Angelou


Imagine A Woman In Love With Herself

Imagine a woman who believes it is right and good she is a woman.
A woman who honors her experiences and tells her stories.
Who refuses to carry the sins of others within her body and life.

Imagine a woman who trusts and respects herself.
A woman who listens to her needs and desires.
Who meets them with tenderness and grace.

Imagine a woman who has acknowledged the past's influence on the present.
A woman who has walked through her pain.
Who has healed into the present.

Imagine a woman who authors her own life.
A woman who exerts, initiates and moves on her own behalf.
Who refuses to surrender except to her truest self and wisest voice.

Imagine a woman who names her own Gods.
A woman who believes her body is enough, just as it is.
Who celebrates her body's rhythms and cycles as an exquisite resource.

Imagine a woman who honors the body of the Goddess in her changing body.
A woman who celebrates the accumulation of her years and her wisdom.
Who refuses to use her precious life energy disguising the changes in her body and life.

Imagine a woman who values the women in her life.
A woman who sits in circles of women.
Who is reminded of the truth about herself when she forgets.

Imagine yourself as this woman.

By: Patricia Lynn Riley

Wawa

I stumbled upon a link on one of my former schoolmate's facebook page that I thought was pretty neat: http://wawa2010.blogspot.com/

If you don't know what Wawa is, it's a convenience store/gas station chain that is primarily located in the northeastern U.S. I lived with Wawa my whole life and I often find it difficult to now live without it. The first thing I want to do when I go home is hit up Wawa. Philly pretzels and veggie hoagie, mmm!!!! What's so great about it you ask? Well I don't know if I could explain it, you'd just have to experience it! So these former classmates of mine are trying to visit every Wawa in existance while raising awareness about skin cancer and are apparently making the news in their quest. I think that is pretty random and fun.

Gottahava Wawa!!

In sadder news, I learned that two other former classmates of mine have recently passed, both deaths were the result of suicide. I was shocked to hear that these gorgeous, smart, talented, bubbley women who were so full of life could have found themselves in situations of such despair. It reminds me just how very important it is to be kind to people. You never know what someone may be dealing with and how you treat them can make a world of difference.

"I may be going broke, but I'm never broken down" - Less Than Jake

I've been reflecting and thinking how lucky I am to have the great network of friends I have. I have been fortunate enough to maintain close friendships with a handful of people from my childhood and now I have a new close-knit group of friends in Florida. In talking for over an hour on the phone tonight with my girlfriend Jen as we often did when we were kids, not having anything in particular to say but candidly joking, reminessing and sharing our thoughts, I realized how little things have changed despite our different paths in life.

"The road is never long to the house of a friend"

Escape

Where do you go to escape life's dramas? When the wear and tear of the day has gotten to you, when you've counseled each and every one of your friends and realize that no one is really better off; everyone is suffering with their own struggles and you're lamenting that your next therapist appointment is three days away because you've got more than enough to run through than the hour long period you'll get to spend. Where do you go? What soothes your soul?

I've been getting a fix lately finding videos on youtube that mix one of my favorite songs and some great scenes from a favorite movie or tv show. I don't have cable so I am not able to watch much TV but there are a few shows that I feel have perfectly described my being at a certain place in time. Two of those shows are Roswell and Grey's Anatomy. Roswell found me in college and I would go over my friend Jen's and we would watch episode after episode. It was fantastic. I took a strong interest in the sci-fi aspect of the plot. Shelly introduced me to Grey's Anatomy. I resisted at first but it's a mesmorizing drama that consumes you right from the pilot episode. I definitely wish I could wear scrubs to work. Here's a fan video from each. PS. In case you couldn't tell, I'm a hopeless romantic. Okay, let's change that to hopeful. It sounds better :-)

Healing You

My friend Shelly pointed out that I haven't blogged in awhile. She's right. I love how she stays on me about this stuff! Creatively speaking, I always have a lot that wants to come out. I actually colored tonight in a coloring book. It was a favorite childhood activity of mine and I felt comforted as I carefully chose the colors and colored in and outside the lines.

If you don't already know, I'm currently in the process of working on a master of arts degree in Holistic Wellness. I'm concentrating specifically on nutrition and healthy lifestyles which is a personal interest of mine. I started a little over a year ago and I'm just over halfway done. The program is offered through Clayton College of Natural Health (http://www.ccnh.edu)

Natural health is a non-traditional approach to illness that is becoming more and more accepted, recogized and brought into the mainstream. The realm of natural health includes chiropracters, accupuncturists, massage therapists, naturopaths, herbalists, nutrition consultants, yoga teachers and much more. At this point, I am not sure what my exact path will be but I do know that I am very passionate about what I am learning and I am excited and hopeful about the possiblity of making it a full-time career.

In one of my classes Wellness and Belief there is a lecture called Why People Don't Heal by Caroline Myss, P.H.D. I'd like to share some strong points she makes. She focuses on the links between personal power, illness, toxic connections to the past, and hidden blocks to wellness. Hopefully these excerpts make sense, since they are taken out of context:

On the dangers of holding onto your past:

"The phsycial body closes it's wounds up very quickly, doesn't it? Where would the body be if it kept a wound open for 20 years? Festering with Gangrene. We need to learn from this. I think every emotional wound deserves a period of grieving but you must be careful when you take that wound and turn it into a power to disempower yourself".

"Is it okay to talk about your past? Yes, but you can't keep leaving your spirit there to recreate the past".

"The point of meditation is to notice where your spirit goes when you aren't paying attention. What do you dwell on? Who are you thinking about? As you observe these things, you then need to learn to call your spirit back. It will be very stubborn at first".

"Instead of thinking you control your destiny or you create your reality (because that's a huge burden to hold) just say to yourself I am responsible for the quality of my journey. Not the places I go or the people I meet along the way but for the way I respond to them".

"We age because we live in the perception that 'if only I could understand why this happened, then I could move on and let go', and in doing so we leave a peice of our soul in every one of those experiences".

"It doesn't matter how much your mind knows. What matters is the journey between what your mind knows and forcing the rest of yourself to become congruent with it".

"Give up the past and the need to understand and control, give up blame, the need to be comfortable, to have an agenda and to control others".

"The best thing you can do is live one day at a time, keep your attention in present time. Have no expectations, make no judgements, and give up the need to know why things happen as they do. It's lethal and it's costing you your cell tissue".

With that, I bid you good night!

Simple & Clean

I'm not into video games really (old school nintendo excluded) but I do enjoy Kingdom Hearts. It's an awesome game that mixes Disney with Final Fantasy. The result is a great adventure journey. Here's a video tribute with the ending song from Kingdom Hearts 1. Awesomeness!!